May 21, 2006

Recently I was diagnosed with AAADD (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder) This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to read the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can and notice that the can is full.

So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But since I am going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote left on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when I go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spilled on the floor. So, instead I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day . . . the car isn't washed - the bills aren't paid - there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter - there is only one check in my checkbook - I can't find the remote - I can't find my glasses and I don't know what I did with the car keys.

Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming! Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional, laughing at yourself is therapeutic.

Fr. Chuck

P.S. I just remembered I left the water running in the driveway!